Blog: October 2026

Nightmares.

It’s been a bad week of nightmares. I’m thankful for them in some ways. After all, it’s how you got to read about the Terraformers. They were a recurring nightmare for over a month. It wouldn’t go away until I started to write about them. My first try was to make it as funny as I could. I made every joke I could to help put them in their place. As I kept writing, I started to bring together some of the more frightening parts of the characteristics. That was the key to creating that particular section about the Dome of Resolution from The Domes book.

Sometimes my nightmares just put me into a funk of trembling fear for days. It’s hard for me to do much but cry until they fade into the distance. I feel like I can’t handle life; I don’t want anyone around. Everything seems like so much pressure and stress, even having to take a piss. I’m sure that I’m not alone with that. I never know whether I use some of these in my story. I guess I have a love-hate relationship with those dreams.

If I’m lucky, I can sit out in the sun and write like I am doing right now. Trying desperately to get my brain to calm down. The anxiety that pours into me grows exponentially every time it repeats itself. I hope it’s just a one-off; if not, I need to look closely to see what may be coming up from the wrinkles of my gray matter.

I love the dreams where I’m just floating in the calm of space. There is a song called Mad World that has this lyrical line: “The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had.” The original is by Tears for Fears, but I think Gary Jules did the best cover. Take a listen; the video is cool. That line hit me the first time I heard it. It is true for me. Plus, the whole world is indeed Mad in both common definitions of the word.

Daydreaming can also be nightmare-based for me. Daymares just do not have the same ring to them. Maybe I write because I live in a daydreaming part of reality that is quite mad. Lost in thought, mind always spinning out of control, settling down occasionally to focus on the world, then poof, gone again. I’m used to it; luckily, those around me seem to be okay with it. Like, either of us has a choice; it is what it is.

I have goals for this month. There will be a lot of chaos around me; I thrive in chaos. It will give me some time to do some good work on the story. Sounds strange, I know, but that’s what happens when chaos abounds. Dreams.